Can Death Eaters have a day off?
by Rare but somehow funny
Summary: A little inside joke, on how Voldemort over works his loyal followers. They seriously need rest for their hard work. Enjoy! I hope, lol.
1. Chapter 1

Hey readers! It is moi again! If some of you were pissed that I haven't written anything in a while...then piss off because I've been very busy with things: counting grains of sand, tying my shoes(perfection takes time), and getting accepted to college(which happened yay!).

Well, enough about me...this little story was based on an inside joke between me and my cousins in Florida. Shit...why can't I lay off about me?!...oh well...anyways...besides the adventure of our favorite Golden Trio, we all wondered about The Dark Lord and his followers. Something had to be going on. I mean...Does he over work them. Those poor Death Eaters honestly deserve a break. Why can't Voldemort be considerate? Everything has to be about him...greedy.

* * *

The days were cold, dark, and gloomy, and Lord Voldemort sat on the highest chair. He was accompanied by his followers, who showed him a sense of impatience, annoyance, and admiration.

Voldemort: I must have the boy under my control...at once.

Lucius: We'll have him close to you as possible, my Lord.

Voldemort: You say that, but fail miserably as always, Lucius.

Lucius: I promise I'll succeed.

Voldemort: Promises are not enough...if you fail this time...I'll end you.

Lucius: That's not fair.

Voldemort: Yes it is.

Bellatrix: As much as I love you, my Lord, I agree with Lucius.

Voldemort: No you don't, shut up.

Bellatrix: Well, the boy is not as dumb as we thought he will be. He ends up winning.

Voldemort: Then try outsmarting him.

Dolohov: That's not good enough. He has that brainy Mud-Blood by his side.

Voldemort: Then kill her... or something.

Dolohov: I TRIED! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME!

Voldemort: I want you to try harder.

Dolohov: WHY IS IT ALWAYS WHAT YOU WANT?! WHAT ABOUT OUR NEEDS?!

All Death Eaters: Yeah...

Voldemort: Voldemort only cares about Voldemort...deal with it.

Crabbe: You never give us a break.

Dolohov: It's always work, work, and work. I never have time with my family.

Voldemort: I thought you killed your family.

Dolohov: If I hadn't...then I would want to spend time with them. (cries)

Lucius: Seriously, my Lord, we're exhausted..you never let us rest.

Voldemort: Well, excuse me...I never rest. If I let you all take breaks, it wouldn't seem fair for me.

Macnair(e): You should also rest.

Voldemort: I'd be happy to, but the BOY!!

Bellatrix: ENOUGH WITH HIM! It gets disturbing on how you only focus on him.

Voldemort: If he keeps growing stronger, I grow weak!

Bellatrix: You seem healthy to me.

Vodemort: (smiles) You think so. Thanks, it's this new protein shake I recently been drinking. It does the body good.

Bellatrix: Really? Where can I get one of those...I tried to improve myself but I have no luck.

Voldemort: Oh, that used to be me...Honey, let me hook you up...call my nutritionist...here's the number.

Dolohov: So...do we get breaks now?

Voldemort: NO!

Dolohov: Ugh

Crabbe: Can I have this Saturday off?

Voldemort: Why is that?

Crabbe: My wife and I have plans to donate to the starving children in foreign areas.

Voldemort: It doesn't work that way, you don't even care about the starving people...YOU'RE A BLOODY DEATH EATER!

Crabbe: Fine, truthfully, we're going to an "All You Can Eat" buffet...I'm starving.

Voldemort: Of course you are. You may have that day off.

Goyle: If he gets Saturday off, then I want one too!

Voldemort: NO! LISTEN TO ME! I'M THE DARK LORD!

Goyle: Dark? You don't look Black to me.

Voldemort: Damn, you're right...have the day off then.

The rest of the Death Eaters look at Voldemort with pleading eyes. Voldemort exhales harshly and says, "Fine, you all may rest."

END!!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey! Readers! I'm back! And I just thought of writing another chapter to this story....cuz I can. :P It all came out at the top of my head. Enjoy! :P

* * *

It was a gloomy, rainy Monday, and Voldemort's meeting was back in session.

Voldemort: "It's certainly pleasant to have you all here again."

*Groan*

Voldemort: "WHAT?! I Let you all have a vacation, out of the goodness in my heart. And this is what I get in return?!"

All Death Eaters: "Evening, My Lord."

Voldemort: "Hmm... thought so. I trust you all know why we're gathered here tonight."

Bellatrix: "Umm... Could a scarred, raven-haired, four-eyed, boy be the reason? *Yawns*"

Voldemort: *Scoffs* "Uh...no, smarty. It's far more important than that."

Lucius: "What could be more important?"

Voldemort: *Smiles cunningly* "My birthday. Hahaha."

*Pause*

Voldemort: "What now? I thought you'll be happy. I am"

Dolohov: " My Lord, you do realize..."

Voldemort: "Of course I do realize how important it'll be!"

Dolohov: "Umm..It's just so irrelevant."

Voldemort: *Glares at Dolohov* "Look... do you want to die?"

Dolohov: "Uh..no."

Voldemort: "Then shut up. And by the way, I'm uninviting you for that cheeky comment."

Bellatix: "My Lord, can we discuss your special day after we plan Potter's demise.?"

Voldemort: *Glares at Bellatrix* "OH. MY. GOD." *Still glaring* "When I wanted to talk about him, you complained! Now you're interested?!"

Bellatrix: "No, I'm just.."

Voldemort: "NO! You're not just! What's so great about Potter? Did you find out how massive his di---"

Bellatrix: "My Lord!"

Crabbe: "Eww, you pedophile."

Voldemort: *Sniffs and tears up* Look.. I just wanted a party...with all my friends celebrating it with me."

Crabbe: "It's alright, my Lord, we'll be there on your special day."

Voldemort: *Wipes his eyes* "You mean it?"

All: "Yes."

Voldemort: "Ok. It starts this Saturday at 7:30 P.M. Don't be late....and bring presents! Or else. Toodles!"

END!!!


	3. Chapter 3

Oh wow, This was on alert too. Hmm.. lol Alright. This one will be about the trio and what they are doing while Voldemort has his big birthday bash. :) This was inspired by Kenan and Kel in their hit movie TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN NONE. .

Enjoy

* * *

It was the middle of the night and the Golden Trio sit around their camp fire. The three of them just sat there. Each of them had nothing to do but watch the flickering flames and worry about the Dark Lord. (Who was celebrating his birthday, by the way... and he won pin the scar on Harry Potter)

"Bloody hell", groaned Ron, "this is bloody boring."

"What do you expect us to do, Ron?", snapped Hermione, throwing him an annoyed look, "We're at war."

"Why can't you entertain yourself by eating?", suggested Harry, nodding at the tent's direction.

"No!", shouted Hermione, "He'll eat everything!"

"No, he won't, Hermione", disagreed Harry.

"Yes I will, mate", said a smiling Ron Weasley.

"Wait..", said Hermione, now grinning. "Why don't we tell some scary stories?"

"Umm no", snorted Ron," You Muggles are weird."

"It'll be fun."

"Eating is fun."

"Food isn't scary."

"You know what?", asked Ron, getting quite impatient, "I'll tell a story, just to prove how scary food can be."

"You eating is scary", joked Harry. Hermione giggled.

"Shut up, Harry", snapped Ron and clears his throat. He leans forward and begins.

"Once upon a time.... how you Muggles always begin....there was a toaster. This particular toaster resides in the kitchen counter. ... and then... OUT of the blue!!!" Suspenseful moment. "Bread popped out of this mysterious toaster!

Ron pauses for a moment while Harry and Hermione start smirking.

Ron continues," So.. when the bread was toasted... no one knew what to put on it. The choices were jelly or peanut butter", he stops and raised his eyebrows at the other two. Both listeners are trying to control their laughter.

Ron, on the hand, leans toward them and whispers in an evil tone, " But I wanted butter."

Harry and Hermione sniggered.

Ron, however continues, "There were crumbs everywhere... the end."

"Wow, said Hermione, "Who ate it?"

The redhead grins widely and responds, "Me MUAHAHAHA!"

"Crap, you're right food is scary."

* * *

If you haven't seen Two Heads Are Better Than None... WATCH IT!!


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